by Sally Young
art by Cal Shin
In fifth & sixth & seventh grades I scribbled notes through science class
in a daze of hazy
forests & fields.
Some days were meant for dreaming of something other
than rocks & bugs &
sometimes someone saw me
eyes ablaze in sunlight somehow with E&B forever
tattooed right above my heart.
I think classmates were jealous that I was somewhere
they were not.
Forever, for real, forever, in that flower field of sparkle &
forever was my sixth-grade certainty
that all would be alright.
I’d sprint from stupid soccer practice & straight into my room.
Sorry, no time to talk ‘til dinner
there’s science homework to do.
Then I only tore my eyes away when the blue light burnt my fingertips
& then I’d scan the secrets
stashed away on well-worn pages.
Scenes bit through my skin & sucked the blush from my cheeks.
Chemistry & carbon dating
they taught me something new.
Didn’t breathe ‘til the daydream ended & I bent my independence.
Devour & deliver & destroy me!
I’m desperate for this hope.
But somewhere along the road to Washington I grew up & got bigger.
Red pickup truck seems silly now &
it started raining harder &
forever became a little less long &
the fields, they lost their shimmer.
My twilight was eclipsed by dawn & men who didn’t glow.
Middle school became back then
& baseball was lost to the storm.
Blue turned into black & my heart still has a bruise
from when the world read my tattoo &
told me to grow up.
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